Lonely

Sometimes I am reminded of just how few friends I have here in the Elkhart area.  I have my friend Christy.  Other than her, no one stops by - ever.  No one calls me - ever.  It's lonely here.  My friend in South Carolina calls me.  My friend in Mississippi calls me.  My friend in Michigan emails me.  I have a couple of motherly friends who keep up with me here and I appreciate them immensely.  It stops there.
When I am around people I am always smiling or joking.  It's who I am.  But when we moved here four and a half years ago I thought it would be different.  While I appreciate the attitudes here and don't miss the racism of the deep south I don't care for anything else here.  I don't want to be here anymore.  I want to go home.  The problem is - I don't know where home is.  I just know it's not here.
Sometimes I would just love for someone to drop by unexpectedly.  I do miss that about the south.  I would enjoy looking forward to the phone ringing instead of ignoring it because I know it's not for me.  I would love for someone to swing by to pick me up for coffee (I have no car) and I really love coffee.  I would like NOT to be the person to make plans for a change.

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King Ellipsis
[this is good]
This almost quite exactly how I felt in Florida, it impacted my happiness tremendously. I took comfort in the friends that I had, no matter how near or far away. I know it can be tough, stagnant in reality, but remember you have, pen and paper and a gateway to anywhere you want to be.
rdwgfan19
[this is good]

We just got a Starbucks in Lapeer. I'd love to take you out for coffee! Or hang at my house with a fresh pot and a bottle of Bailey's. Its so strange, we both have this depression that manifests itself radically different. I hate when the phone rings, or someone shows up, because I feel pulled in so many different directions every day that I don't have anything left to give. I'm afraid of the next thing that someone will ask of me, afraid to say no and so overwhelmed in the process that I want to hide somewhere that no one can find me. Isn't that strange? But I can tell you this. You're the only one that knows. I wish we lived closer.

I love you!

Lazeedazee74
[this is good]

Hey woman. I have Thursdays off....I might drop by unexpectedly or now that you know in advance expectedly? No one comes to visit us except the MIL (Mother-In-Law) with advance warning so I can clean my house. Did I tell you that she came to my house once just to clean my bathroom? I didn't know it was dirty. Sheesh!

I guess Elkhart is just to far from South Bend for anyone to come and see us. Know what I say to that? Screw em. I don't like people much anyway :D

I can't wait to tell you about my new job!

NayNay72
New job???? Cool! I can't wait to tell you about getting screwed by the photographer I was ghostwriting the book for! LOL Are you going to the Notre Dame Blue and Gold sale?
rdwgfan19
Renee!!! Who is your "LAZEEDAZEE74" friend? I SO sympathize with the MIL invasion! That's exactly what Mike's mom does to me, because I am SO not up to her standards of cleanliness! BITE ME!!!! That being said, what's up with the evil photog?
Artzy Carmen
I've been in that lonely place a long way from home... only I did it in Virginia longing for my "home" in Elkhart. Strange, huh?! My heart goes out to you. Hang in there, Elkhart grows on ya! I'd love to shop in the Old Bag Factory this weekend or have a nice slice of Columbo's Pizza right about now!
NayNay72
I've never been to the Old Bag Factory, but my mom loved it!
Thanks.

Renee

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